oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
