Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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