I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
