i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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