My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
