dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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