She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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