they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
