Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
