We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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