i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
