Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
