drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
