ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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