Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize