Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
