All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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