Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
