I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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