The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
