just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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