this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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