How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
