From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
