He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Panties = found
Randomize
