Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
