I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
