You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
