i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
