were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
