"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
