i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
How's work?
Spinning.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
