New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
