I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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