my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
