This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
