Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
