What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize