Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
