Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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