What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
