I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
