I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
