I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
