I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
