i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
