I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
