Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
