I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
