sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
