How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
