i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
