I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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