You're so nebulous sometimes
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
