i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
