How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
