Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
