New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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