whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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