who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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