I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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