he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
